Retired Husband Banned at Walmart Memo:
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past 6 months, your retired husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores.
We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused.
All complaints against Mr Fenton have been compiled and are listed below.
Mr. Wally Underpants
President and CEO
Wal-Mart Complaint Department.
MEMO Re: Mr. Bill Fenton– complaints-15 things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse is shopping:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, ‘Code 3″ in housewares and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the service desk and asked to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.
6. Sept. 14: Moved a ‘ Caution – wet Floor’ sign to a carpeted area.
7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping dept. and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the bedding dept.
8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks “Why can’t you people just leave me alone.
9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting dept., asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. Dec. 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.
12. Dec 6: In the auto dept. practiced his “Madonna Look” using different size funnels.
13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed thru yelled “pick me” Pick me!.
14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams “NO! No! It’s those voices again.
(And last, but not least!)
15. Dec. 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”
Walmart Manager * Author unknown
Often in times of stress and trials, when life gets a little scary, it seems hard trying to catch a breath. As I recall the different seasons of life over the years, I realize I have been provided with a diverse and remarkable opportunities to learn many new lessons. Some I looked forward to with great expectation, others I dreaded thinking I might not make it. Sure I make plans, have goals, resolution and projects, but there are times when life’s interruptions cause long delays. Have you ever felt like your life is a series of pauses?
Many times during those disruptions I have wished God would send me a memo or email to alert me to what is coming next. Do you ever feel like a memo would be great gesture too? I don’t know about you but I like to prepared, and have a schedule with everything penciled in. But Life is not like that is it? At least not mine.
Although there have many ups and downs, I can look back and realize how each season has put extraordinary color in my life. Giving me meaning and enriching everyday life with faithful friends who prayed for me, a trustworthy and compassionate God who loves me, and a Savior who forgives me.
Can I learn to trust God even though I don’t understand his ways? Where would I be without Him!
So He will do for me all He has planned. He controls my destiny!
“We are well kept when God does the keeping!”
Discussion Question: Have you learned valuable lessons from the interruptions in life? Have you ever felt like you would like a memo from God?
Thank you for sharing your time with me, I hope you enjoyed these pondering’s, Valentine Hugs to all!