ATTENTION: Male and Female ATM bank procedures
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed.
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.
Male procedure:
- 1. Drive up to the cash machine
- 2. Put down your car window.
- 3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
- 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
- 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
- 6. Drive off.
Female procedures: What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth, at least for me!
- 1. Drive up to cash machine.
- 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
- 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
- 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
- 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
- 6. Attempt to insert card into machine..
- 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
- 8. Insert card.
- 9. Re-insert card the right way.
- 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
- 11. Enter PIN.
- 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
- 13. Enter amount of cash required.
- 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
- 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
- 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
- 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
- 18. Re-check makeup.
- 19. Drive forward 2 feet.
- 20. Reverse back to cash machine.
- 21. Retrieve card.
- 22. Re-empty handbag, locate cardholder, and place card into the slot provided!
- 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
- 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
- 25. Redial person on cell phone.
- 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
- 27. Release Parking Brake.
After going to the bank machine last week I remembered this funny story, which in my case is true. After rummaging through my purse (my Big one) I inserted my air miles card. Of course the ATM wouldn’t take it, and I finally found the right one, what a relief. I don’t know if it is just me, but when someone is beeping their horn behind me, I get distracted and nerves.
I want to be able to do everything right the first time, but when I mess up I am hard on myself. I am a self-talker, I often am chiding and lecturing myself for the mistakes I have made. On those days when I am down I turn to God who is my rock and shelter and find grace, forgiveness and peace in Him.
By god’s grace we can reflect His light and love in those dark and lonely times when we are down. In Col. 3:2 it says, “Let heaven fill your thoughts. Do not think only about things down here on earth.
Are you a self-talker? I would love to hear from you, let me know what you think about self-talking, is it true for you also?
Lovingly, Karan K. Gleddie
I am a self talker too. I once read,” If you haven’t said it; you haven’t thought it.” At first I disagreed with that observation. But I have found that in order to clarify a problem and find the best solution, I have to talk about it. Thankfully since I live on a farm there is no one around to think that I am talking to voices in my head.
Hello Lucille,
I like your observation about” If you haven’t said it: you haven’t thought it.” I had to think about that also but I would have to agree too. Thank you for sharing that quote, and your observations. Have a great weekend.
Warmly, Karan
I’m a self talker,I make alot of my own personal decisions by self talking.The more I talk to myself the easier my answer comes to me.Then I hear God talking to me and says, I think you better pray about the answer,before sharing your answer with anyone else.So I then pray.And sure enough God is right.I talked too much to myself and didnt pray.I had come up with the wrong answer.wrong solution.Im sure happy God can read my mind and glad nobody else can read my mind.I get some weird looks as Im walking down the street chatting to myself and laughing.If my dog is with me , and someone looks at me with a funny look,I focus on my dog and smile.That way they think Im talking to my dog.I pray out loud too, while walking and while driving.It keeps me in the right direction for the day.My husband works out of town alot.The dog and me are alone alot at the house.My children are grown and away from home,busy with their own lives.I,M great company for myself.I m creative and have a super good imagination.My mind takes me to many places,and in reality I,m sitting in the living room.I guess I better stop chatting.After praying ,my best decisions are made talking out loud and working things out as I chat.Have a blessed day.
Hi Loreen,
I love the way you explained how you are a self-talker too. Especially how you focus on the dog and smile. LOL I may have to get a dog too. Thank you for sharing, it’s comforting others self-talk too.
Warmly, Karan