Articles

Sep 17 2014

I may Need a Little Help!

Author: Karan Gleddie • Discussion: 4 Comments

ATTENTION: Male and Female ATM bank procedures

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed.

Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

Male procedure:

1. Drive up to the cash machine
2. Put down your car window.
3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Drive off.

Female procedures: What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth, at least for me!

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine..
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.

Sep 03 2014

Lady, Call Me Anytime!

Author: Karan Gleddie • Discussion: 4 Comments

Lady, Call Me Anytime

While doing last minute packing for a speaking engagement in northern Alberta, my husband was warming up our SUV. I was excited about the northern adventure, but also a little apprehensive because our vehicle’s electrical system had been acting up. The fan would run off and on when it was turned off. Lyle was staying home and I felt a little insecure about my technical abilities, and didn’t want to have a dead battery on my trip. My understanding of a working automobile consists of putting the key in the ignition. If the motor starts, it works. So simple.

After putting my bags in the back of our vehicle, my husband suggested that I go by our dealership and have the fan disconnected. I promised I would.

Arriving at the dealership I checked in, and sure enough the fan was still running at full force in the SUV. I went directly to the service department and the manager said, “All the service personnel are having their morning coffee break, they will be back in twenty minutes”.

I took a seat, and thought I would use my time wisely by telling the service department manager how disappointed I was with our vehicle. I blathered on about the electrical problems and how stressful it was to be stranded somewhere away from home. After twenty minutes a serviceman said he would look at my car, and as we walked I explained the problem. I opened the back of the vehicle, he climbed in and listened, turned his head from side to side and listened some more.

As he climbed out of the vehicle, he said, “I don’t think it’s the fan. I think it is your tote bag.”

I told him with certainty the bag contained a blow-dryer and curling iron, and as he could see they were not plugged in!

Aug 27 2014

The Toothless Wonder

Author: Karan Gleddie • Discussion: No Comments

The Toothless Wonder

Three hours past our departure time, my husband, Lyle, and I, and our two teenage daughters, were finally pulling away from our southern Alberta home. We were on our way to the State Fair in Great Falls, Montana, but the way our car was packed, it seemed like we were off on a world tour.

I was looking forward to six days of rest and relaxation. No cooking, no early mornings, and plenty of my favorite hobby—retail therapy. We had a poolside room and our girls were ready to find their swimsuits and head to the water. However, my husband (the practical one) decided we would have supper first, before the swimming suits came out of the suitcases and everyone headed for the pool.

After a delicious Mexican dinner, I hurried back to our room because I had something stuck under my upper partial plate. As I hurried into the powder room, I took out my “two front teeth” and laid them on a tissue next to the sink. After I brushed my teeth, I wiped off the counter, threw the paper and tissue into the toilet, and flushed. I turned around to get my teeth, but they were nowhere in sight. I ran around the hotel room crying, praying, and hoping that I would find those teeth, but I knew in my heart they were gone—flushed—adios—good-bye.

My family returned to find me flustered and crying. They were clearly concerned, but before I told them what happened to my poor teeth, I made each one promise not to laugh. It did not help one bit. By the end of my story, they were rolling with laughter and asking to see my toothless smile, which only brought more uncontrolled laughter.

I decided right there my vacation was over. I wanted to go home. I told my family I could not spend the rest of the week without my two front teeth.

“Oh yes you can,” my husband said. “All you have to do is keep your mouth shut and no one will know.” Now why didn’t I think of that?

Aug 20 2014

The Great Laundry Caper

Author: Karan Gleddie • Discussion: No Comments

The Great Laundry Caper

Moving is a stressful and time-consuming project, the more mature I get the less I like this task. While I was drowning in boxes, I needed to search for a washer and drier. Our clothes were piling up and I was nearing my last pair of underwear ……… I searched the sale fliers for a laundry set that would fit both our needs and budget. After comparing prices we made our decision. A white set with burgundy lettering, I thought it would match our other furniture. Besides, it had a wrinkle free cycle that appealed to me, sense my ironing board and iron are a Stone Age model.

The salesman was anxious, jumpy, and talked incisively. He assured me I had come to the right place, gotten the best price, deal and warranty of any other customer he had had that day. Plus they were going to deliver it on Saturday morning around 9:00 am. I was the luckiest woman in town. Of course I was thrilled; I had a week’s washing and needed to get some clothes washed.

Saturday morning came and no washer and drier, I was in a panic we needed to wash clothes and be at another appointment across town by 2:00 pm. Finally, I received a call telling me they were running late and would arrive at 1:00 pm. I knew this would be cutting my time short, mentally figuring out how I was going to make my next appointment. I was about to have a meltdown.

Arriving at 1:10 pm I was told they didn’t have time to set everything up. “It was easy, a piece of cake, you could do-it-yourself” Jr. said, giving me the thumbs up as he raced out the door. Now I don’t know about you, but when someone tells me it’s easy, red flags start flying. He said he had confidence in me. Clearly, he hadn’t heard I am both un-coordinated and mechanically challenged.

I remember thinking the washer and drier looked different, but I didn’t have time to spend on that thought as we rushed to our appointment.

After a stressful afternoon, arriving home I began looking at the washer and drier again, I realized the top was the wrong color. Instead of white with burgundy letters across the top, it was baby blue enamel. It had that “blast from the past” 50’s look.

Stressed I was awake most of the night doing research and worked myself into a dizzy-tizzy. I was sure the company had ripped me off and sent me a relic from the back of the warehouse. I finally fell asleep at 4:00 am worn out and upset. And I still had no clothes washed!!!

The next day I decided to go by the store and discuss the situation with the salesman. Praying all the way over there that I would be kind but firm. I walked in and asked for Harold. Explaining to another gentleman the wrong washer and drier had been delivered to my house. He wasn’t sympathetic and told me those things happen all the time! At that moment I wasn’t feeling “That Lov’in Feeling.”

Aug 09 2014

Why I write…

Author: Karan Gleddie • Discussion: No Comments

Blog Hopping and Why I write…

I met a wonderful friend in July, Heather Martens or 40YearWonderer, and she asked me if I would like to be one of her featured writers on a blog hop. I thought it would be fun and give me the opportunity to introduce other writers who I admire.

Heather is has been and encouragement and sweet friend to me as I strive to write about life adventures and misadventures with a loving God.

She has a great compassion for others, even while dealing with pain and loss. God has enabled her to reach others with truth and honesty, lighting the way for others as she points to God’s comfort, love and grace.

Heather featured me in her blog hop. A blog hop is a round-robin, where a person answers 4 questions about their writing and then features three writers.

Also this Blog hop give me the opportunity to answer the many questions people have asked about “Why do I Write.”

1. What am I work on?

I have been working on a book called” Everyone Has Blonde Days®” for the last thirteen years, it is now in the final stages. It is collection of humorous stories about everyday life, when we have those Blonde moments that cause us to laugh out loud and then check to see if anyone else was looking. No matter what our culture, hair or skin color, we all have Blonde Days. Each story includes a reflection and spiritual application showing us God can use our misadventures to teach us valuable lessons about His love and ourselves.

I have two other books I am in the collecting and editing stages right now, but may be looking for a few more submissions. I will send out a call!

2. How does my work differ from others of its genre?

Blonde moments are something everyone experiences no matter what color hair we have, and when those unexpected, laugh out loud events happen, we know it must be a “Blonde” day. You may not have blonde hair, but I bet somewhere there are a few blonde roots!

Does everyone have blonde days? Days when the most embarrassing and outrageous circumstances happen? Those are the days when all we can do is laugh out loud, hope no one is watching, and enjoy the moment. Who doesn’t need a good laugh these days to brighten and balance the stresses of everyday living? Laughter is a universal language. It has no boundaries and keeps us smiling no matter what life throws our way.

Over the last fifteen years I have interviewed women of all nationalities, and occupations. I have stopped them at malls, grocery stores and women’s events, to see if they have experienced blonde days. They usually burst out in laughter, then share their hilarious stories. In reality, women of all ages, stages, colors, circumstances, and hair colors, share in the fun of having blonde-day misadventures.

Research shows daily laughter can add up to eight years to your life. Who knew having a good laugh was as healthy as eating broccoli?

Everyone Has Blonde Days™ was created as a witty reminder we can find humor in the most unexpected places. When those unexpected days come into your life, embrace the moment, and realize you have just had a “blonde” day.

“My platform is –Humor, My message is Christ

3. Why do I write about what I do?

I become a writer because I felt that God has put a call on my life to share Love, Laughter and hope to women in a hurting world. I believe He has given me a platform to connect with women through shared experiences with transparent love and acceptance. If God’s love and forgiveness can heal my brokenness and steady my daily walk with him, even when I am week, mess up and disobedient, His love and grace can touch everyone. I want women to know there is nothing and no place that God’s love cannot reach.

Because Life is Tough- I want to offer love and laughter to women who need hope. “You don’t stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.”

“Laugh often, Dream big, and Reach for the Stars”

4. How does my writing process work?

Karan K. Gleddie

Offering Love and Laughter to Women who need Hope

Articles

Lady, Call Me Anytime!

The Great Laundry Caper

Why I write…