Cowgirl Up!

Cowgirl Up!

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When this California beach bunny met my Canadian Cowboy, it was like “John Wayne meets California Bling queen” two different worlds collided.  My idea of a rancher’s wife was somewhere between “Dolly Parton” and the television show “Dallas.”  In my world if you were dressed for the occasion you could do any the job.

My new husband sent me out to get some cowboy boots and jeans. I guess he didn’t think the go-go boots and hot pants would work! Lol  

I was excited to go shopping, after all I liked the boots “Dolly” wore with beautiful design’s, colors and sparkles.  Now to find the perfect boot, which in my mind I thought should be both fashionable and practical.  I couldn’t wait to see Lyle’s face when I brought them home.

Modeling my new 3-inch-heeled cowgirl boots and seeing the look on Lyle’s face, I knew he wasn’t as appreciative of the boots as I was.  I think it was somewhere between bursting out into gales of laughter and I can’t believe it!

Mrs. Green Thumbs

Mrs. Green Thumbs

Tulips 1 I was a California beach bunny who married a Canadian rancher—a real cowboy. I wanted surf, he wanted turf. I loved rock and roll, he loved country.

I came to Alberta in go-go boots and a beehive hairdo and stuck out like a wild turkey at a chicken convention. I knew nothing about farming and ranching, while the women of this rural community could put Laura Ingalls Wilder to shame.

They drove tractors and combined at harvest time, rode horses, irrigated crops, and cooked meals for their working crews. They kept well-manicured yards, exquisite flowerbeds, and vegetable gardens and still had time to can everything.

I soon realized my expertise in makeup application; wardrobe and image consulting were not going to be useful skills on a ranch.  How I walked, sat, and got in and out of a car while holding my knees together would not help me ride a horse or drive a tractor in a more ladylike manner…

Efficient, no-nonsense women surrounded me and I longed to be accepted by them. I told myself I was a woman just like them, only wrapped in different packaging and definitely blonde.  

In desperation, I asked a friend in a nearby town who was known for her “green thumb” to help me design dazzling flowerbeds would impress these local women. With my diagram in hand, I needed only to stop at the garden center and buy the exact plant to go in the exact spots  coincided with the numbers on my friend’s plan.

However, while I was preparing the soil for my new flowerbeds, I noticed a large plant full of flowers  looked healthy and robust. I thought it would add extra dimension to the other flowers in my new flowerbeds, so I placed the lovely plant next to the front door.  

All the while, I felt quite satisfied with my own little touch of creativity. After planting, I waited a week to make sure all the plants lived before inviting the women over to admire my floral extravaganza. Surely, they would appreciate all the hard work I had put into this project.

When they walked through the gate, and began to laugh I was confused, and I wasn’t sure why they were laughing, so I laughed with them. As it turned out, my healthy, robust plant, which I had planted, front and center, was in reality a blooming “Stink Weed.” 

Isn’t that how life is? I want to be loved and accepted for who I am, weeds, warts, and all, yet, I am afraid to let people see my flaws. I work so hard to be accepted, recognized, and loved by others. In Jeremiah 31:3b it says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love.”  His love for me is unconditional, constant, and forever.

I am so glad God loves me; He knows all about me, and even calls me by name. I do not have to worry about fitting in; I am already accepted, recognized, and loved by Him.

In this busy world it is hard to find a place to fit in sometimes.  Do you ever feel like that, what do you do? I would love to hear from you, just leave a comment.

Thank you for stopping by and sharing your time with me today.

Lovingly, Karan

I may Need a Little Help!

ATTENTION:  Male and Female ATM bank procedures

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A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.  After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed.

Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

 

Male procedure:

  • 1.   Drive up to the cash machine
  • 2.   Put down your car window.
  • 3    Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
  • 4.   Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
  • 5.   Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
  • 6.   Drive off.

Female procedures:  What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth, at least for me!

  •  1.  Drive up to cash machine.
  •  2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
  • 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
  • 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
  • 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.shutterstock_2671605
  • 6. Attempt to insert card into machine..
  • 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
  • 8. Insert card.
  • 9. Re-insert card the right way.

Through The Looking Glass

                                            Through the Looking Glass     

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Early one fall I took a day trip to Calgary, Alberta, to buy spring and summer fashions for my retail business. I brought my teenage daughters along and planned to do some afternoon shopping after my appointment. I wore my navy business suit to make a good impression and for added flair, I wore my three-inch heels.  It was important to me to look pulled together so the sales representatives would assume I knew what I was doing.

My teenagers dressed for comfort in jeans and tennis shoes.  However, I decided to keep the suit and heels on for shopping, because I did not want to bring an extra set of clothes.  The day had been fun but exhausting, and by 5 pm I had burned-out.  I had a headache, my feet hurt, and I was hobbling. I was ready to go home, take a hot bath, and go to bed.

 I made one last stop at the drugstore on the way out of the mall, and my daughters decided to wait outside for me.  I paid for my purchases, and hurried out to meet them. Suddenly and abruptly, I crashed into a sparkling clean glass wall with such force it caused people to stop in their tracks and check out all the commotion near the eighth aisle.

 After my perfect face-plant into the glass, I slid to the floor in an ungraceful heap.  My shopping bags were in complete disarray, one three-inch heel came off, a button flew off to the great unknown, and my skirt was a little higher than I felt comfortable with.

As I tried to gather my wits and composure, I noticed my two daughters bent over in laughter and I could tell they were pretending not to know me.  When they began to walk away from me, I was sure they did not want anyone to know the dressed-up blonde in a heap on the floor was their mother. 

Lady, Call Me Anytime!

Lady, Call Me Anytime

car_mn_0While doing last minute packing for a speaking engagement in northern Alberta, my husband was warming up our SUV. I was excited about the northern adventure, but also a little apprehensive because our vehicle’s electrical system had been acting up. The fan would run off and on when it was turned off. Lyle was staying home and I felt a little insecure about my technical abilities, and didn’t want to have a dead battery on my trip. My understanding of a working automobile consists of putting the key in the ignition. If the motor starts, it works. So simple.

After putting my bags in the back of our vehicle, my husband suggested that I go by our dealership and have the fan disconnected. I promised I would.

Arriving at the dealership I checked in, and sure enough the fan was still running at full force in the SUV. I went directly to the service department and the manager said, “All the service personnel are having their morning coffee break, they will be back in twenty minutes”.

I took a seat, and thought I would use my time wisely by telling the service department manager how disappointed I was with our vehicle. I blathered on about the electrical problems and how stressful it was to be stranded somewhere away from home. After twenty minutes a serviceman said he would look at my car, and as we walked I explained the problem. I opened the back of the vehicle, he climbed in and listened, turned his head from side to side and listened some more.

As he climbed out of the vehicle, he said, “I don’t think it’s the fan. I think it is your tote bag.”

I told him with certainty the bag contained a blow-dryer and curling iron, and as he could see they were not plugged in!