Articles

Oct 01 2014

Cowgirl Up!

Author: Karan Gleddie • Discussion: 2 Comments

Cowgirl Up!

When this California beach bunny met my Canadian Cowboy, it was like “John Wayne meets California Bling queen” two different worlds collided. My idea of a rancher’s wife was somewhere between “Dolly Parton” and the television show “Dallas.” In my world if you were dressed for the occasion you could do any the job.

My new husband sent me out to get some cowboy boots and jeans. I guess he didn’t think the go-go boots and hot pants would work! Lol

I was excited to go shopping, after all I liked the boots “Dolly” wore with beautiful design’s, colors and sparkles. Now to find the perfect boot, which in my mind I thought should be both fashionable and practical. I couldn’t wait to see Lyle’s face when I brought them home.

Modeling my new 3-inch-heeled cowgirl boots and seeing the look on Lyle’s face, I knew he wasn’t as appreciative of the boots as I was. I think it was somewhere between bursting out into gales of laughter and I can’t believe it!

Sep 17 2014

I may Need a Little Help!

Author: Karan Gleddie • Discussion: 4 Comments

ATTENTION: Male and Female ATM bank procedures

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed.

Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

Male procedure:

1. Drive up to the cash machine
2. Put down your car window.
3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Drive off.

Female procedures: What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth, at least for me!

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine..
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.

Sep 10 2014

Through The Looking Glass

Author: Karan Gleddie • Discussion: No Comments

Through the Looking Glass

Early one fall I took a day trip to Calgary, Alberta, to buy spring and summer fashions for my retail business. I brought my teenage daughters along and planned to do some afternoon shopping after my appointment. I wore my navy business suit to make a good impression and for added flair, I wore my three-inch heels. It was important to me to look pulled together so the sales representatives would assume I knew what I was doing.

My teenagers dressed for comfort in jeans and tennis shoes. However, I decided to keep the suit and heels on for shopping, because I did not want to bring an extra set of clothes. The day had been fun but exhausting, and by 5 pm I had burned-out. I had a headache, my feet hurt, and I was hobbling. I was ready to go home, take a hot bath, and go to bed.

I made one last stop at the drugstore on the way out of the mall, and my daughters decided to wait outside for me. I paid for my purchases, and hurried out to meet them. Suddenly and abruptly, I crashed into a sparkling clean glass wall with such force it caused people to stop in their tracks and check out all the commotion near the eighth aisle.

After my perfect face-plant into the glass, I slid to the floor in an ungraceful heap. My shopping bags were in complete disarray, one three-inch heel came off, a button flew off to the great unknown, and my skirt was a little higher than I felt comfortable with.

As I tried to gather my wits and composure, I noticed my two daughters bent over in laughter and I could tell they were pretending not to know me. When they began to walk away from me, I was sure they did not want anyone to know the dressed-up blonde in a heap on the floor was their mother.

Sep 03 2014

Lady, Call Me Anytime!

Author: Karan Gleddie • Discussion: 4 Comments

Lady, Call Me Anytime

While doing last minute packing for a speaking engagement in northern Alberta, my husband was warming up our SUV. I was excited about the northern adventure, but also a little apprehensive because our vehicle’s electrical system had been acting up. The fan would run off and on when it was turned off. Lyle was staying home and I felt a little insecure about my technical abilities, and didn’t want to have a dead battery on my trip. My understanding of a working automobile consists of putting the key in the ignition. If the motor starts, it works. So simple.

After putting my bags in the back of our vehicle, my husband suggested that I go by our dealership and have the fan disconnected. I promised I would.

Arriving at the dealership I checked in, and sure enough the fan was still running at full force in the SUV. I went directly to the service department and the manager said, “All the service personnel are having their morning coffee break, they will be back in twenty minutes”.

I took a seat, and thought I would use my time wisely by telling the service department manager how disappointed I was with our vehicle. I blathered on about the electrical problems and how stressful it was to be stranded somewhere away from home. After twenty minutes a serviceman said he would look at my car, and as we walked I explained the problem. I opened the back of the vehicle, he climbed in and listened, turned his head from side to side and listened some more.

As he climbed out of the vehicle, he said, “I don’t think it’s the fan. I think it is your tote bag.”

I told him with certainty the bag contained a blow-dryer and curling iron, and as he could see they were not plugged in!

Aug 27 2014

The Toothless Wonder

Author: Karan Gleddie • Discussion: No Comments

The Toothless Wonder

Three hours past our departure time, my husband, Lyle, and I, and our two teenage daughters, were finally pulling away from our southern Alberta home. We were on our way to the State Fair in Great Falls, Montana, but the way our car was packed, it seemed like we were off on a world tour.

I was looking forward to six days of rest and relaxation. No cooking, no early mornings, and plenty of my favorite hobby—retail therapy. We had a poolside room and our girls were ready to find their swimsuits and head to the water. However, my husband (the practical one) decided we would have supper first, before the swimming suits came out of the suitcases and everyone headed for the pool.

After a delicious Mexican dinner, I hurried back to our room because I had something stuck under my upper partial plate. As I hurried into the powder room, I took out my “two front teeth” and laid them on a tissue next to the sink. After I brushed my teeth, I wiped off the counter, threw the paper and tissue into the toilet, and flushed. I turned around to get my teeth, but they were nowhere in sight. I ran around the hotel room crying, praying, and hoping that I would find those teeth, but I knew in my heart they were gone—flushed—adios—good-bye.

My family returned to find me flustered and crying. They were clearly concerned, but before I told them what happened to my poor teeth, I made each one promise not to laugh. It did not help one bit. By the end of my story, they were rolling with laughter and asking to see my toothless smile, which only brought more uncontrolled laughter.

I decided right there my vacation was over. I wanted to go home. I told my family I could not spend the rest of the week without my two front teeth.

“Oh yes you can,” my husband said. “All you have to do is keep your mouth shut and no one will know.” Now why didn’t I think of that?

Karan K. Gleddie

Offering Love and Laughter to Women who need Hope

Articles

Cowgirl Up!

Through The Looking Glass

Lady, Call Me Anytime!