Laughter

Apr 24 2015

Been Farming long?

Author: Karan Gleddie • Discussion: No Comments

 Have You Been Farming Long?

fenceA couple is looking to get into farming after moving from the big city and into an old country farmhouse. They had not been farming long when they visited a local feed store there they saw cute baby chicks for sale. Even though they had ZERO KNOWLEDGE about chickens, they immediately, decided to purchase a few to start their very own flock. After getting all the supplies they head home to start their new venture. 

After a week they return to the store with disappointing looks on their faces. The store clerk asks if something is wrong to which they sadly notify the clerk that all of the chicks had died. 

The clerk, astonished that ALL the birds had died so soon, decides to ask a few questions. 

He asks if they fed the birds. Indeed they had fed them every morning 

He asks if they watered the birds. Yes they replied. 

The clerk took a minute to think about it then stated that he didn’t know what the problem could have been. 

Then the wife looked into the eyes of her husband and said “I wonder if we planted them too deep.” 

To which the husband replied ” No, that’s ridiculous! If anything, we planted them too far apart.  Author unknown

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Reflecting:

When I think about a couple who left the city for the rural life, I just laugh out loud.  It makes me think of all the crazy and hilarious things I said and did on the ranch when I came to Alberta.  Growing up in California, all my knowledge of a working ranch and cowboys was learned from the “Dallas” TV show and the beautiful cowgirl “Dolly Parton.” Wow, was my world small!

I came to Alberta in go-go boots and a beehive hair-do and stuck out like a wild turkey at a chicken convention. I knew nothing about farming and ranching, while the women of this rural community could put Laura Ingalls Wilder to shame. They drove tractors and combines at harvest time, rode horses, irrigated crops and cooked meals for their working crews.  They kept well-manicured yards, exquisite flower beds and vegetable gardens and still had time to can everything.

Now my idea of canning is to go to the super market, buy cans of food, take them home, open them and presto, I have a canned dinner!

Even out on the ranch my knowledge and skills were a little askew and I didn’t recognize the dangers of dealing with large animals.  When the gates for the cattle needed to be open, I had them closed.  When the gates needed to be shut to keep then in, I had them open. When the cattle came running, I was no help at all, I RAN TOO!

I can look back on this crazy, wild, fun and extraordinary journey and realize what a wonderfully blessed life it has been.  Isn’t it funny!  Even in the hard and difficult times there have been love lessons learned. Like the country song:

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world”.

 Ronnie Milsap – I Wouldn’t Have Missed It For The World Lyrics | Metro Lyrics 

To think that God brought a California beach bunny to the prairies of Alberta, Canada to teach me lessons I could never have learned anywhere else. I am humbled by the care of an amazing and loving God who continuously watches over me.

Psalm 139

1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
    and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
    You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
    and when I rest at home.
    You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
    even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
    You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too great for me to understand!

16 You saw me before I was born.
    Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
    before a single day had passed.

17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
    They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
    they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
    you are still with me!

Thank you for stopping by and sharing you time with me. Have a great weekend dear friends.

Lovingly, Karan

 *** ~Karan’s Update:  Thank you for all your love and prayers, I was able to see the wonderful surgeon in Calgary, and I am now booked for surgery June 23rd. Please continue to praying for God’s perfect will in this, and my patience.  If I can pray for you please send me an email, it is being able to remember each other that we can touch  the the heart of God through prayer. Much love and Hugs. ~ Karan

 

 

    

Mar 26 2015

Why Parents Drink?

Author: Karan Gleddie • Discussion: 4 Comments

Why parents drink

shavingThe boss wondered why one of his most dependable and valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper.  ” Hello ? “

“Is your daddy home?” he asked. ” Yes ,” whispered the small voice. May I talk with him?”   The child whispered, ” No .”

Surprised and still wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?” ” Yes .””May I talk with her?” Again the small voice whispered, ” No .”

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, “Is anybody else there?” ” Yes ,” whispered the child, ” a policeman “.

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, “May I speak with the policeman?”

” No, he’s busy “, whispered the child.   “Busy doing what?” ” Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman ,” came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, “What is that noise?”   “ A helicopter ” answered the whispering voice.

“What is going on there?” demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.  Again, whispering, the child answered, ” The search team just landed a helicopter .”

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, “What are they searching for?  Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..”ME.”

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As the snow ebbs on the plains here in Alberta, and spring is starting to show its colors. I see the trees starting to bud, grass with a tinge of green, and I know the earth is coming alive once again.

The wonder of the seasons, has always thrilled and amazed me. As I eagerly anticipate the flocks of swans, Canadian geese and other familiar birds flying home rosefrom their distant winter homes in the south. I love this time of year.  It give me hope, thankfulness and courage the world is right and God’s big picture sees a much wider view then my own small vision.

Sometimes when there has been discouragement, illness or difficult times the struggles our lives need a new perspective.  And spring does that for me.

When I have time to sit quietly and listen, I can hear God whisper his plans for me. But I feel I need to remind God, I’ve made my own plans for the day. Some days I have so many plans and goals I don’t want to have my day interrupted.  Have you ever felt like that?

Do I choose my plans which are important to my life and service? Or choose God’s plan for me, stepping out in faith to trust Him. Serving Him is to enjoy the great adventures He has planned for me, and knowing I have obeyed Him gives me great happiness.

Father, I choose your strength, love and promise,

I will not fear as long as you walk with me lighting my way.

I choose to trust you.

Lovingly, Karan 

Have a great week, hugs to each of you!

Feb 12 2015

I Didn’t Get The Memo!

Author: Karan Gleddie • Discussion: No Comments

 Retired Husband Banned at Walmart Memo:

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past 6 months, your retired husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores.

We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused.

All complaints against Mr Fenton have been compiled and are listed below.

Regretfully Yours,

Mr. Wally Underpants
President and CEO
Wal-Mart Complaint Department.

MEMO Re: Mr. Bill Fenton– complaints-15 things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse is shopping:

1.   June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
2.   July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3.   July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4.   July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, ‘Code 3″ in housewares and watched what happened.
5.   August 4: Went to the service desk and asked to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.
6.   Sept. 14: Moved a ‘ Caution – wet Floor’ sign to a carpeted area.
7.   Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping dept. and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the bedding dept.
8.   Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks “Why can’t you people just leave me alone.
9.   Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting dept., asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11.  Dec. 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.
12. Dec 6: In the auto dept. practiced his “Madonna Look” using different size funnels.
13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed thru yelled “pick me” Pick me!.
14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams “NO! No! It’s those voices again.
(And last, but not least!)
15. Dec. 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”

Walmart Manager  * Author unknown

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 Often in times of stress and trials, when life gets a little scary, it seems hard trying to catch a breath.  As I recall the different seasons of life over the years, I realize I have been provided with a diverse and remarkable opportunities to learn many new lessons.  Some I looked forward to with great expectation, others I dreaded thinking I might not make it.  Sure I make plans, have goals, resolution and projects, but there are times when life’s interruptions cause long delays.  Have you ever felt like your life is a series of pauses?

Many times during those disruptions I have wished God would send me a memo or email to alert me to what is coming next. Do you ever feel like a memo would be great gesture too? I don’t know about you but I like to prepared, and have a schedule with everything penciled in. But Life is not like that is it? At least not mine.

Although there have many ups and downs, I can look back and realize how each season has put extraordinary color in my life.  Giving me meaning and enriching everyday life with faithful friends who prayed for me, a trustworthy and compassionate God who loves me, and a Savior who forgives me.

Can I learn to trust God even though I don’t understand his ways? Where would I be without Him!

Job 23:14

So He will do for me all He has planned.  He controls my destiny!

“We are well kept when God does the keeping!”

Lovingly, Karan

Discussion Question:  Have you learned valuable lessons from the interruptions in life?   Have you ever felt like you would like a memo from God?

Thank you for sharing your time with me, I hope you enjoyed these pondering’s, Valentine Hugs to all!

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Feb 06 2015

Will you Still Love Me ?

Author: Karan Gleddie • Discussion: No Comments

Will you Still Love Me Tomorrow?

  

Couple_Laughing_iStock_000008477914Retirement- and how to have fun!

Working  people often ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day, my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a police officer writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said,”Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.  I called him a dummy.

He glared at me a started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So Mary called him an idiot.

This went on for 20 minutes. The more we angered him, the more tickets he wrote.

Just then, our bus arrived and we got on it and went home. We try to have a little fun each day now that we are retired. It’s important at our age!   Author unknown                                                                                                                      

I’m doing this because I love you!

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THE GIFT OF LOVE

Looking for a gift or just a unique way to say “I love you?” What do you give when his dresser is full of cologne and you’re both on diets? When flowers die too soon, and you’ve already spent next month’s paycheck? Here are 19 great inexpensive ways to tell the love of your life just how much you care.

  • Make a homemade card with a picture of the two of you on the cover. Get ideas for a verse by spending a few minutes browsing through a card shop.
  • Write a poem. It doesn’t have to rhyme.
  • Send a love letter listing the reasons “Why I love you so much.”
  • Pledge your love for a lifetime. Write it on calligraphy or design it on a desktop computer and print it out on parchment paper and have it framed.
  • Bake a giant cookie and write “I love you” with heart shaped redhots or frosting. (Don’t worry about the calories, it’s not for eating!)
  • Kidnap the car for a thorough washing and detailing.
  • Compose a love song.
  • Call a radio station and have them announce a love message from you and make sure your love is listening at the right time.
  • Make a big sign such as: “I Love You, Kristi. Love, Joe” and put it in front of your house or her apartment complex for the world to see.
  • Hide little love notes in the car, a coat pocket, or desk.
  • Prepare a surprise candle light gourmet low-calorie dinner for two.
  • Promise to change a habit that your love has been wanting you to change.

                                                            Thank you, “Family Matters” http://familymatters.net

 

Thank you for sharing your time with me, I am sending great BIG Valentine Hugs to each of you! Tons of Love.

Lovingly, Karan

Discussion question:  What was the best valentine gift you either gave, received or made?

Jan 28 2015

I Assume You Know!

Author: Karan Gleddie • Discussion: 6 Comments

 Can I Assume?

10143868 airportLast week I heard about a traveler who, between flights at an airport, bought a small package of cookies.  She then sat down in the busy snack shop to glance over the newspaper.  As she read the paper, she became aware of a rustling noise.  Peeking above the newsprint, she was shocked to see a well-dressed gentleman sitting across from her, helping himself to her cookies.  Half angry and half-embarrassed, she reached over and gently slid the package closer to her as she took one out and began to munch on it. 

  A minute or so passed before she heard more rustling.  The man had gotten another cookie!  By now there was only one left in the package.  Though flabbergasted, she didn’t want to make a scene so she said nothing.  Finally, as if to add insult to injury, the man broke the remaining cookie into two pieces, pushed one piece across the table toward her with a frown, gulped down his half, and left without even saying thank you. 

She sat there dumbfounded.  Sometime later when her flight was announced, the woman opened her handbag to get her ticket.  To her shock, there in her purse was her package of unopened cookies.  And somewhere in that same airport was another traveler still trying to figure out how that strange woman could have been so forward and insensitive. Author unknown

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Assumptions are shaky foundations to rely on; and circumstances are not always as they appear to others. Difficulties, situations and the events in our lives are not usually what we readily would share on Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest. Isn’t it funny how we can get a wrong impression about people or circumstances and assume we know all the facts?  I confess I have been guilty of this myself, and embarrassed to find out how wrong I had been.    

How many times have I put on a mask to hide from others what is happening in my life? You know that little survival kit, full of special occasion masks we use to get us through a particular crisis.  

When I walk out of the house, hear the screen door slam behind me, I can even pretend to be someone else for a time.  I could be happy, funny, shy, or confident; or try to become whatever I thought other people wanted me to be.  Never allowing others to see the fear and insecurity in my own life.

I could also try to place all my emphasis on outward appearance, material wealth and personal importance too.  Or would it still be a mask of a different kind?  I had a perfect mask and wanted people to think I had a perfect life too. I would just wear a smile!

I was afraid if they saw the real me, they wouldn’t like or accept me.  I am so thankful there is a God who Loves me and likes me just the way he made me.  He sees “The good the bad and the ugly” and loves me anyway. Thank goodness.

What a precious and wonderful gift that He has given me.  The gift of grace.  I don’t have to pretend that life is perfect, and afraid of what others think of me, I am fee to be Me!  I know God is enough for any situation that comes my way.  

IMG_1429@                Thank You dear friends for sharing you time with me.                                                      I count it a privilege.  

Lovingly Karan 

Discussion Question:  Why do you think we make assumptions about people, I would love to hear what you think. Hugs!