I was off to England for a wedding a few weeks ago, thought I would share my diet with you. Trying to do a major diet before an important occasion can be real Stressful as many of you know, especially if you need a dress!
The Stress Diet
This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day.
Instructions for Stress Diet
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz. skim milk
4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie
The rest of Oreos in the package
2 pints Rocky Road ice cream, nuts, cherries and whipped cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
2 loaves garlic bread
4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke
1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 Snickers bars
LATE EVENING NEWS:
Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from freezer)
RULES FOR THIS DIET:
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the diet soda cancels out the calories in the candy bar.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you do not eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel. (Examples: Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots and Tootsie Rolls.)
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. (Examples: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and mashed potatoes.)
10. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
11. Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
12. Anything consumed from someone else’s plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate. (We ALL know how calories like to cling!)
Remember, “stressed” spelled backwards is “desserts.”
With the diet I thought I needed to add a little exercise to help me get into my new dress, you now firming it up.
Just sweating to the “oldies”
Reflections from Karan:
It was a dream come true attending a beautiful wedding, enjoying family, friends and the sights and sounds of the English countryside. However, I must confess the months of controlled eating and dieting before I left was disappointing. The exercise program I planned did not do much better either. And the dress I wanted to wear (I decided to sew???) made me look fluffier than I intended. So I wore a suit that I had for a few years. Okay, maybe ten or more?
Coming home I have been reflecting on my pre-trip hysteria and how I almost drove myself nuts, as well as everyone else. Was it insecurity, or a feeling of not measuring up? Who says what is beautiful, acceptable and lovely anyway?
With the constant barrage of the media, celebrities, and fashion magazines our self-esteem can erode fast. I just read that a poll taken in England, By Dr. Raj Persuad a Psychiatrist, said looking at magazines for 60 minutes lowers the self-esteem of young women by 80%. Astonishing. I started to wonder why I even buy magazines knowing the reality we see is the perfecting imagery of a Photoshop expert and illusions of technical imagery. After all if they can make a one-hundred year old woman look 24 again, they can do anything!
All this stress before I left, I know it was vanity. In my heart I wanted to feel acceptable and secure in how I looked. Instead of being grateful for being able to go to England, I got all caught up in the physical instead of relying on the one who knows me best. I forgot how much He loves, I am already special and perfect in His eyes.
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!
I can’t even count them: they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up, you are still with me!
True perfection only comes from God it is not man-made. He is the only one who can satisfy my soul, and give me security in Him. He is all I need!
Have you ever felt like I have? I would love to hear from you. Thank you for sharing your time with me, if you know of others who might like this article please pass it on.
Hugs to all.