To my Christmas Guests,
Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Christmas. I’m telling you in advance, so don’t act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won’t be coming, I’ve made a few small changes:
Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.
The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork. Since this IS Christmas, we will refrain from using the plastic Easter Bunny plate and the turkey napkins from Thanksgiving.
Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I promised. Instead, we will be displaying a tree-like decoration hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me it is a really an angel.
We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while you wait. I’m sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have made regarding Christmas, presents and the Santa hotline.
Please remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 AM upon discovering that the Christmas turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds. There will be accompaniment for the children as they sing for you; I will be a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don’t own a recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.
We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method. We’ve also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table. In a separate room. Next door.
Now I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving the Christmas turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony. I stress “private” meaning: Do not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat.
Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will still have a choice: take it or leave it.
Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Year. She probably won’t come next year either. I Am Thankful!!! Author unknown
CHRISTMAS WARNING…
Christmas Has Been Canceled, And It’s all YOUR fault!
You told Santa that you were GOOD this year…
AND HE DIED LAUGHING!!!
Christmas Reflections
I love the Christmas season, anticipating the cherished times with family and friends that no amount of money or wrapping could buy.
The smell of Christmas baking, the glowing tree with the Angel on top, I would love to keep the tree up all year long if I could. It is so relaxing to sit under the glow of lights and meditate and reflect on the past years. And reflect on God’s love and grace to me.
Over the year, there have been many tears, frustration and fears as I have tried to learn God’s love lessons in patience. I think patience is going to be a lifelong pursuit for me because I seem to be such a slow learner. I am so thankful that God doesn’t give up on me, as he lovingly helps me to understand his purposes for my life.
As I reflect on this last year, I am reminded of all the love, encouragement and prayers of family and friends. What an extraordinary year. I read a little quote that said, “Dark fears flee in the light of God’s presence”. What a beautiful thought of comfort and peace God brings to us as we look forward to 2016.©
Praying you have a wonderful Christmas season with your family and friends. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your time with me today.
Sending love to you all.
Lovingly, Karan